I'll have the meatlovers thanks

'Eat Lamb on Australia Day!'

That was and still is the theme of every January 26 since 2005 when the lamb industry in Australia decided to go on the offensive against those 'health' experts claiming our love affair with meat was causing Australians to be morbidly obese.

For the record, Australians are per capita the fattest people on earth, higher than the US so at least we can claim to be a world leader in something 'substantial'.

I can't imagine a world where we would all be eating vegetarian food, I mean it's OK as a side dish, or mixed in with meat but on its own?!

There's something magical about cooking your own piece of lamb to perfection, its juicy red meat sizzling with flavour. Imagine cooking a vegetable... just wait until it shrivels up enough and has lost all flavour for it be cooked. Then throw enough teriyaki/soy sauce on it until the vegetable surrenders.

Imagine for a moment what an Australia day barbie

[not the doll for those blissfully unaware] would be like.

Instead of eating lamb chops, sausages, steak, burgers and chicken wings all that we would be left to cook would be things we thought were named after some sort of chronic illness:

Brussels sprouts, kohlrabi, leek, parsnips, rhubarb...

'Yeah man, I came down with a bad case of parsnips it was horrible'

'Those brussels sprouts can get really itchy'

If you are a vegetarian you can't have some beer with your meal either, it just doesn't work.

And what about the meat pie!... the sausage roll?! Or the late night hot dog with cheese and tomato sauce from Harry's Cafe de Wheels [google it if you're not from Sydney]. Or if you're really crazy: a meat pie with potato, gravy and peas on top.

It's not just eating the meat, it's the whole experience and culture around it. I can't imagine myself sitting with my friends eating late night broccoli outside Harry's.

So I return to my original point, eating veggies is a good thing, but by themselves - no way - no amount of deep fried falafel will induce me to turn away from meat for a supposedly guilt free diet.

After all, 'throw another 'broc on the barbie' doesn't quite have that ring to it...