Peace and Love, the Norwegian Way

It's been a couple of days since I last put on my blogger-outfit and wrote a sparkling post for our famous blog, and the reason is of course the veggie vs. meat conflict. While the cynic and the gossip engaged in a blog post war, I have been standing on the side line like a true Norwegian, trying to get an overview of the situation in order to later lend a hand in the peace talks. As you all should know by now, Norwegians are born with two things:

1.Skis
2.Mad negotiation skills

This is why, in every conflict possible, Norway butts in and force the arguing parts to shake hands. Suuurely you all remember the glorious moment in 1993 when Norway at last made peace possible in the Middle East?


It was during the famous Oslo- accords that the Norwegians introduced their new negotiation style: “Hey hey hey, don't fight! Let's all go home to my place and I'll wait outside while you sort out your problems. Later I'll give my friend full credit for the whole achievement.”

Norway as a country take great pride in being everybody's friend. Your friend. My friend. Palestine's friend. Israel's friend. The underdog's friend. We Norwegians like to think that we are tolerant and awesome, and that everyone should strive to be like us. And we do not like war. We live in our safe Scandinavian bubble and condemn everyone who uses a weapon to fight, nearly regardless of the cause. We want everyone to have peace, love and freedom just like we do, and whenever Israel goes to war, we feel comfortable enough in our friendship to tell them that they are wrong and should bring the Palestinians to our place and talk it all out. It is the Norwegian way.

This week, however, Norway's self-esteem suffered a serious blow when the famous Israeli newspaper The Jerusalem Post put Norway's friendship with Israel to the test by publishing an article in which the Norwegian foreign minister was accused of having yelled “death to the Jews!” in a public demonstration rally in Oslo during the Gaza war. (Long sentence! I dare you to analyze it and translate it into Arabic with the correct case endings and helping vowels.)

This inane article basically suggests that Norway is now the #1 anti-semitic country in Europe. As a gentile, I can't attest to what life is really like for the Jews in Norway, all I can do is to carefully footnote my sources when I say that I think the journalist needs to get her facts right; the article was removed, fixed, and published again after complaints from Norwegian Jews who walk the streets of Norway feeling perfectly safe. And about the “death to the Jews”- incident: our foreign minister of course never said anything of the sort.

In conclusion, Norway is awesome, and the media is to blame for all the madness in the world. All I can say is that today's journalists could really learn a thing or two about footnoting. And to my dear partners in blogging: I invite you to my place for a peace talk- barbie in the near future. Bring your meat and vegetables.